Hi everyone.
Well, what can I say…. treatment is going well. I do not think I could have asked for more really. I only have one more increase in dosage before moving onto the second drug, which will be by infusion at the Beacon Center every four weeks for 6 rounds. The tablets though, I will continue to take for the duration of the two years.
Although all is going well I have noticed two funny/concerning things over the past week.
- I keep wondering if I have taken my tablets, even though I pretty sure I have. I find my self opening the drug box (which contains 1 weeks worth in each box) and checking that it only contains the following day’s drugs. Thursday I think I did this 4 times. What is this all about? Am I going mad or is this common? I was going to say, ‘is this normal’ but I do not think it is normal, maybe just a Markism.
- When I was on my first course of Chemo treatment, at the end stages, I found it really, really hard to take the tablets. At that time I would spend 5-10 minutes talking myself into taking them. This continued into the second course of Chemo, whereby it became so bad that they had to change my drugs from oral to infusion. So now on this course of treatment I have noticed I am starting to think about the drugs more and more each morning. I am currently on 2 tablets a day, this will increase to 4 Wednesday. Please pray that my old mindset around taking tablets will not come back. I know it is only 4 tablets and many other people are on a lot more than this and is a lot better than the 12 tablets a day (as I was on in past treatments), but if this becomes an issue like before, I not sure what the options are.
Looking back over the week now, I can see treatment is working well, white blood count coming down and still no major side effects. I may be feeling a bit more tired than normal, but I am pushing through this by trying to keep active.
It would be great if my mind and throughs could move on from taking the tablets. Our brain is an amazing thing, it takes us down the same paths time and time again (I call them ruts). Once we have learnt something or picked up a habit, good or bad, it takes considerable effort for us to start down a different path. Each time we try and plough a new route, we struggle against the walls of our old well-trodden tracks. This is what I feel I am up against, hitting the walls of the old tracks, forcing me down that old well-trodden path.
But……..
Our God is a good God. I was out walking and listening to my music on shuffle when an old Maria McKee (Love Justice) song came on called ‘You are the Light’.
Here are some of the words.
Oh how you shine in my time of darkness
Oh how you shine when everything seems hopeless
You know how to help me
When I can’t stand on my own
Don’t let go now
The words of this song just hit home. Have a listen! The right words at the right time…
Margaret long
Good to catch up Mark.
Pleased that things are going well.
Keep looking for the light.
Love to you all.
M&M
Mark Whorton
Thank you.
Christine Brazier
Hi Mark
So pleased you are doing well. I will pray that you don’t think about the tablets. Love the song! Looking forward to your next post.
Love, Christine
Mark Whorton
Hi Chistine, I hope you and James are both doing well.
Linda Clark
Thank you for the update Mark. Sending you our love and praying for you all. Linda and Steve xx
Mark Whorton
Thanks both.
Ruth Bryer
Hi Mark. I totally understand your “not normal/normal” question about your tablets. If it is a Markism it is a Ruthism too!!
We are continuing to pray for you all, particularly that you won’t have problems, as you had before, with taking the tablets, and that hopefully we will be able to meet up again soon.
Mark Whorton
Sounds like we are in the same boat. Glad it is not just me. I hope you all are keeping well.